like steel encased in velvet

[brandywine28]

Some marvelous soul has compiled some of the most cringe-inducing lines from 'Fifty Shades of Grey'. My personal favorite: "I found some baby oil. Let me rub it on your behind."

Comments

[trumpeterofdoom.livejournal.com]

I "acquired" it (not giving anyone money to read shitty Twilight fanfic repurposed into a "book"!) and have been reading this trainwreck. Oh. My. God. HOW IS THIS ACTUALLY GETTING PUBLISHED BY VINTAGE BOOKS?!

Not to mention the sex isn't even good and is extremely boring and repetitive. Also ALSO despite all the talk of "European soccer" and "British Literature" (what editor decides that this is an acceptable way of getting rid of Britishisms?!), there are still bits of British slang in there like "does what it says on the tin", "shouty", "rated me" (as in "thought highly of me") and AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH.

KILL IT WITH FIRE.

[brandywine28.livejournal.com]

Ugh, please don't think I spent money on this dreck! Heaven forfend! I've been reading chunks of the original fanfic version that've somehow escaped the online purge; the characters are still called 'Edward' and 'Bella', which really puts everything into perspective, lemme tell you.

I'm can't believe all the Britishisms weren't corrected before publication! Didn't anyone bother to edit this thing? (I've studied 'British Literature' and I can assure you I've never referred to my ass as my 'behind' or used the phrase 'does what it says on the tin' or, well, any of it, really.)

I'll get the matches, you get the kerosene. :)

[eponymous.livejournal.com]

HOW IS THIS ACTUALLY GETTING PUBLISHED BY VINTAGE BOOKS?!

I'm assuming you might want an answer to this question and aren't just venting. (Though I would understand the vent!)

Publishing is in dire financial straits. Here's a novel with huge word-of-mouth and practically guaranteed sales, so yeah, somebody's going to leap on it. See also novels by Snookie, Nicole Richie, Lauren Conrad, Hilary Duff, etc. Nobody's publishing them because they're works of literary genius. They're publishing them because they sell.

I like to look at it this way: the more money publishers make, the more novels by unknown authors they can take a chance on. Though, more realistically: the more money publishers make, the less likely they are to go under next week. It's really bad out there, as I understand it.

[trumpeterofdoom.livejournal.com]

It was more of a vent. I just hate that drivel like this is actually getting mainstream recognition. Ugh.