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and there'll be a great rebirth
Mar. 29th, 2018 06:44 pmI'm feeling chatty today, so how about a Thursday trifecta? Three items for the price of none! That's right, zero dollars and zero sense, which is exactly what they're worth!
Okay? Okay! Onward!
Item the First - There's a beauty salon just down the street where my mom sometimes goes, and it's owned by the nicest, friendliest Russian lady who I just found out was nearly murdered a couple of years ago?? Apparently her BFF (well, former BFF, I'm guessing) brought over a cheesecake that she'd poisoned, fed her a few slices, and then, when she'd passed out, dressed her body in an expensive negligee and wrote a fake suicide note, which, again -- ??? The FBFF (former BFF) was was also Russian, and of a similar age and appearance, so her plan, they're saying, was to take over this woman's identity and gain access to her savings account, and it turns out she killed a bunch of people back in Russia using the same MO, and she's probably gonna be extradited and also they're making a Dateline episode about it and --
I'm not even sure why I'm mentioning it here, except I keep hearing my Grampa's voice saying, "See? Your problems aren't so bad!" He said that to me a lot, actually, and I hated it every time. I found it insulting and patronizing, but, my God, he was right. I am not, nor have I ever been, the victim of an attempted cheesecake-lingerie poisoning, and for that I am truly grateful.
Item the Second - Last night I dreamt that I gave birth to identical triplet sons and named them Melon, Raisin and Franklin. One of them was a totally talented violinist, but I couldn't have told you which. Still can't. And I guess I wasn't too crazy about them, though my dislike couldn't have had much, y'know, immediacy to it, 'cos I waited 'til they were in their early forties (I had not aged) before taking them to the movies one day and abandoning them there. Child neglect!
Item the Third - I haven't watched or even really thought about this movie in maybe a decade, yet I've had the following song stuck in my head for the last five days. Warning: I think I'm finally losing my mind. It's happening. The day has arrived.
The worst part? For a largely forgettable Doors rip-off comedy number, the sole purpose of which is to make fun of a mostly outdated cultural archetype? i.e. The very definition of an UN-fresh take? It...kind of bangs.
I mean, I don't see it topping the charts anytime soon. But I wouldn't say no to a well-orchestrated JC Chasez cover. Just sayin'. (God, the list of songs I've said that about is getting long. Long and -- weird.)
Okay? Okay! Onward!
Item the First - There's a beauty salon just down the street where my mom sometimes goes, and it's owned by the nicest, friendliest Russian lady who I just found out was nearly murdered a couple of years ago?? Apparently her BFF (well, former BFF, I'm guessing) brought over a cheesecake that she'd poisoned, fed her a few slices, and then, when she'd passed out, dressed her body in an expensive negligee and wrote a fake suicide note, which, again -- ??? The FBFF (former BFF) was was also Russian, and of a similar age and appearance, so her plan, they're saying, was to take over this woman's identity and gain access to her savings account, and it turns out she killed a bunch of people back in Russia using the same MO, and she's probably gonna be extradited and also they're making a Dateline episode about it and --
I'm not even sure why I'm mentioning it here, except I keep hearing my Grampa's voice saying, "See? Your problems aren't so bad!" He said that to me a lot, actually, and I hated it every time. I found it insulting and patronizing, but, my God, he was right. I am not, nor have I ever been, the victim of an attempted cheesecake-lingerie poisoning, and for that I am truly grateful.
Item the Second - Last night I dreamt that I gave birth to identical triplet sons and named them Melon, Raisin and Franklin. One of them was a totally talented violinist, but I couldn't have told you which. Still can't. And I guess I wasn't too crazy about them, though my dislike couldn't have had much, y'know, immediacy to it, 'cos I waited 'til they were in their early forties (I had not aged) before taking them to the movies one day and abandoning them there. Child neglect!
Item the Third - I haven't watched or even really thought about this movie in maybe a decade, yet I've had the following song stuck in my head for the last five days. Warning: I think I'm finally losing my mind. It's happening. The day has arrived.
The worst part? For a largely forgettable Doors rip-off comedy number, the sole purpose of which is to make fun of a mostly outdated cultural archetype? i.e. The very definition of an UN-fresh take? It...kind of bangs.
I mean, I don't see it topping the charts anytime soon. But I wouldn't say no to a well-orchestrated JC Chasez cover. Just sayin'. (God, the list of songs I've said that about is getting long. Long and -- weird.)
