- Yup. It's true. I have been listening to the cast album of Rent. And acting it out. And emoting super hard on all the Roger parts (which, really? Roger? Is he the one I'm turning into in my dotage??
- Sure, he's usually the best looking person in the cast, but -- scream-asking "who says that there's a soul??" into the face of a pretty girl asking you out on a date? Like, take it easy, there, Edgy McEdgelord.
- He's so DOUR.
- (A thing that did not deter moody, greasy-souled teen!me, but is turning moody, greasy-souled adult!me right the hell off. Is this what growth is? Am I mature now??))
- Anyway, yeah. Rent. Help me, I'm regressing! R E G R E S S I N G. Soon I'll be wearing leg warmers on my arms and hunting down Gap Dream on Ebay.
- My memory's been all over the place lately, which I'm pretty sure I've read is a sign of depression?
- Except I think I'd be a lot less depressed if I could remember everything on my measly, four-item grocery list without having to write it on my arm in the morning so that every time my sleeve rides up, everyone else at the subway pole can see I need sponges and flour.
- I don't want anyone else knowing that. That's MY business.
- So my mother called me yesterday specifically to tell me she's decided I should marry Duff Goldman, the Ace of Cakes guy, because "It'd be perfect: you like cake! "
- Logic!
- I really don't think she meant it to be backhanded or anything. That's not her way. It's the sincerity that's cracking me up, actually. The sincerity and the randomness. He's famous, yeah, but he's someone I literally never think about.
- Then again. Cake.
- Maybe I should Fedex him some of my underwear. Couldn't hurt.
- Unless I got myself arrested for sexual harassment and mail weirdness.
- That would hurt.
- What else, what else... Oh! Chris Kirkpatrick had his baby!
- Or, I guess, his wife did. Far be it for me to imply some kind of secret mpreg situation went down. When we all know I would never.
- (But there weren't THAT many photos, is all I'm saying.
- And photos can be faked. Just look at the moon landing!)
- ANYWAY. The Chris-centric thing that's really making me happy today is this three month old Elle article I found, written for something called 'Chris Week'.
- I'm taking it as a tacit declaration by Elle magazine that he is the "best Chris", because, hello! He IS. I've only been saying that for YEARS.
- Well. Thinking it really loudly for years, at least.
- Ugh, don't look at me that way. People mention The Chrises *a lot*, okay? And I really don't want to be a repetitive jerk about it.
- 'Repetitive' is one of the only types of jerk I'm not and that's -- that's important to me.
- Whatever. Conclusion: Our Chris is the best Chris. And not just because he's the only one who doesn't remind me of an anthropomorphized stalk of celery. Also, I kinda wannna send the author a hollowed out pineapple filled with diamonds or -- or Pez? Or something. Something fun.
- She's one of us. She deserves it.
- Moving on!
- Further on the dissociation front: I was walking home the other day, trying to avoid my own reflection in all the shop windows I was passing because, well. Because.
- But I finally caught an accidental glimpse and, of course, went through that familiar, horror-struck moment of "oh my God, am I really that short, and squat and wide?"
- UNTIL. I realized I was actually looking at the reflection of a trash can that just so happened to be the exact color of my shirt. I mistook myself for a trash can.
- I feel like that story should end with a rimshot.
- But I also feel like it's the kind of thing I'd tell to a big group of people, with lots of eagerness and hand gestures, expecting laughs, only to be met with frozen silence and, like, chirping crickets, so.
- I don't know where that leaves me.
- Dear God, this post is a mess.
- Honestly, I think I'm only making it 'cos I don't want that Columbus Day thing to be my most recent one anymore. I mean, I'm not gonna delete it or anything. I'm not the deletin' kind, but --
- When the revolution comes, I'd very much like to be spared, thanks.
- The bullet points were a bad idea. I don't know why I thought I could keep this thing neat and organized.
- I should get rid of them and start again.
- But will I?
- No. No, I will not.
- Happy Tuesday, everyone!
- Sure, he's usually the best looking person in the cast, but -- scream-asking "who says that there's a soul??" into the face of a pretty girl asking you out on a date? Like, take it easy, there, Edgy McEdgelord.
- He's so DOUR.
- (A thing that did not deter moody, greasy-souled teen!me, but is turning moody, greasy-souled adult!me right the hell off. Is this what growth is? Am I mature now??))
- Anyway, yeah. Rent. Help me, I'm regressing! R E G R E S S I N G. Soon I'll be wearing leg warmers on my arms and hunting down Gap Dream on Ebay.
- My memory's been all over the place lately, which I'm pretty sure I've read is a sign of depression?
- Except I think I'd be a lot less depressed if I could remember everything on my measly, four-item grocery list without having to write it on my arm in the morning so that every time my sleeve rides up, everyone else at the subway pole can see I need sponges and flour.
- I don't want anyone else knowing that. That's MY business.
- So my mother called me yesterday specifically to tell me she's decided I should marry Duff Goldman, the Ace of Cakes guy, because "It'd be perfect: you like cake! "
- Logic!
- I really don't think she meant it to be backhanded or anything. That's not her way. It's the sincerity that's cracking me up, actually. The sincerity and the randomness. He's famous, yeah, but he's someone I literally never think about.
- Then again. Cake.
- Maybe I should Fedex him some of my underwear. Couldn't hurt.
- Unless I got myself arrested for sexual harassment and mail weirdness.
- That would hurt.
- What else, what else... Oh! Chris Kirkpatrick had his baby!
- Or, I guess, his wife did. Far be it for me to imply some kind of secret mpreg situation went down. When we all know I would never.
- (But there weren't THAT many photos, is all I'm saying.
- And photos can be faked. Just look at the moon landing!)
- ANYWAY. The Chris-centric thing that's really making me happy today is this three month old Elle article I found, written for something called 'Chris Week'.
- I'm taking it as a tacit declaration by Elle magazine that he is the "best Chris", because, hello! He IS. I've only been saying that for YEARS.
- Well. Thinking it really loudly for years, at least.
- Ugh, don't look at me that way. People mention The Chrises *a lot*, okay? And I really don't want to be a repetitive jerk about it.
- 'Repetitive' is one of the only types of jerk I'm not and that's -- that's important to me.
- Whatever. Conclusion: Our Chris is the best Chris. And not just because he's the only one who doesn't remind me of an anthropomorphized stalk of celery. Also, I kinda wannna send the author a hollowed out pineapple filled with diamonds or -- or Pez? Or something. Something fun.
- She's one of us. She deserves it.
- Moving on!
- Further on the dissociation front: I was walking home the other day, trying to avoid my own reflection in all the shop windows I was passing because, well. Because.
- But I finally caught an accidental glimpse and, of course, went through that familiar, horror-struck moment of "oh my God, am I really that short, and squat and wide?"
- UNTIL. I realized I was actually looking at the reflection of a trash can that just so happened to be the exact color of my shirt. I mistook myself for a trash can.
- I feel like that story should end with a rimshot.
- But I also feel like it's the kind of thing I'd tell to a big group of people, with lots of eagerness and hand gestures, expecting laughs, only to be met with frozen silence and, like, chirping crickets, so.
- I don't know where that leaves me.
- Dear God, this post is a mess.
- Honestly, I think I'm only making it 'cos I don't want that Columbus Day thing to be my most recent one anymore. I mean, I'm not gonna delete it or anything. I'm not the deletin' kind, but --
- When the revolution comes, I'd very much like to be spared, thanks.
- The bullet points were a bad idea. I don't know why I thought I could keep this thing neat and organized.
- I should get rid of them and start again.
- But will I?
- No. No, I will not.
- Happy Tuesday, everyone!
no subject
Date: 2017-10-25 11:53 am (UTC)But in conclusion, yes Chris is the best Chris. *g*
no subject
Date: 2017-10-27 11:09 am (UTC)He is. End of story. Hemsworth can go suck an egg. :)
no subject
Date: 2017-10-25 03:12 pm (UTC)You subject jump from Ace of Cakes to Chris made me laugh as I started thinking of back in the day and Stubbleglitter and her Ace of Cakes recast due to Chris looking vaguely like Duff. Maybe that's why your mom suggested him too?! Is she aware of your Chris love? *g*
no subject
Date: 2017-10-27 11:55 am (UTC)Oh my God. It honestly just occurred to me: she probably thinks I have a crush on Timberlake. I need to fix this. Now.
I guess I was aware of the resemblance, but a fancast is a whole 'nother thing and I am fully in favor of it! Yes, yes, yes. I enthusiastically support the idea of a Food Network AU. But only if JC can be Ina Garten.
no subject
Date: 2017-10-26 09:24 pm (UTC)Chris is almost always the coolest character in popslash… this is probably because 98% of Fans know about being the one who's odd. And We Identify. Fun article, anyway. And Chris Kirkpatrick is most definitely the best Chris. *leaves to seek out baby pix*
no subject
Date: 2017-10-27 12:05 pm (UTC)Another thing all the coolest people have in common. Loving Chris Kirkpatrick. :)