cookie, don't push me, don't you push me
May. 29th, 2020 05:43 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
brandywine28-- First things first: Fiona Apple, am I right?
-- I am. I'm right.
-- Also, as long as we're talking about music: I know crucifixion season is long, long over and I really should find a different musical to fixate on. Ideally one with fewer floggings. And I will! As soon as I force you all to watch this act of genius. Why? Exactly.
-- My Cuomo crush has run its course, as all things must. Sunrise, sunset. Something-something, dew on the grass, etc.
-- Honestly, it's for the best. I'm not cut out to be a political wife. I'd snap somewhere really inconvenient, like a ribbon cutting ceremony or a handshake festival, and just go feral. Start biting everyone.
-- Also, I guess there was that thing where it seemed like he owned just way, way too many salt and pepper shakers? Like, I don't know what's going on in this photo, but whatever it is? It's a turn off.
-- Aaaaaand...this is not an eventful update. I'm sorry.
-- My world has ensmallened. To the point where all I really think about anymore are unrefrigerated corpse trucks, and how much I don't wanna end up in one.
-- Or in a Trump(TM) Mass Burial Pit. Don't wanna end up in one of those, either.
-- (Both are very real things and therefore very real possibilities. I'm right to worry.)
-- Meanwhile, trust fund idiots are rubbing up against each other in the West Village, the cops are out for blood again and my desire to share stupid crap with the rest of the world has NOT ensmallened.
-- Hence, boring updates.
-- Again. Sorry.
-- However! My webcam creeping continues apace!
-- There's this one person who has a late lunch in Bryant Park, same time, same bench, every day. Like clockwork.
-- They're always alone, and always in the same lumpy parka, hood up, so I can't really get a grasp on age or gender, but their loneliness speaks to me.
-- I have decided we will have a summer wedding.
-- Not this summer. Some future summer, when I can commission the white, hoopskirted monstrosity of my dreams AND hire the fifteen person team it'll take to wrangle me into it.
-- Also, I want a cupcake tower.
-- See?? I'm making plans! That's a good sign, right?
-- A hideously depressed and cripplingly anxious individual wouldn't be able to plan a BEAUTIFUL SUMMER WEDDING. Would they?
-- No, seriously. I'm asking.
-- I am. I'm right.
-- Also, as long as we're talking about music: I know crucifixion season is long, long over and I really should find a different musical to fixate on. Ideally one with fewer floggings. And I will! As soon as I force you all to watch this act of genius. Why? Exactly.
-- My Cuomo crush has run its course, as all things must. Sunrise, sunset. Something-something, dew on the grass, etc.
-- Honestly, it's for the best. I'm not cut out to be a political wife. I'd snap somewhere really inconvenient, like a ribbon cutting ceremony or a handshake festival, and just go feral. Start biting everyone.
-- Also, I guess there was that thing where it seemed like he owned just way, way too many salt and pepper shakers? Like, I don't know what's going on in this photo, but whatever it is? It's a turn off.
-- Aaaaaand...this is not an eventful update. I'm sorry.
-- My world has ensmallened. To the point where all I really think about anymore are unrefrigerated corpse trucks, and how much I don't wanna end up in one.
-- Or in a Trump(TM) Mass Burial Pit. Don't wanna end up in one of those, either.
-- (Both are very real things and therefore very real possibilities. I'm right to worry.)
-- Meanwhile, trust fund idiots are rubbing up against each other in the West Village, the cops are out for blood again and my desire to share stupid crap with the rest of the world has NOT ensmallened.
-- Hence, boring updates.
-- Again. Sorry.
-- However! My webcam creeping continues apace!
-- There's this one person who has a late lunch in Bryant Park, same time, same bench, every day. Like clockwork.
-- They're always alone, and always in the same lumpy parka, hood up, so I can't really get a grasp on age or gender, but their loneliness speaks to me.
-- I have decided we will have a summer wedding.
-- Not this summer. Some future summer, when I can commission the white, hoopskirted monstrosity of my dreams AND hire the fifteen person team it'll take to wrangle me into it.
-- Also, I want a cupcake tower.
-- See?? I'm making plans! That's a good sign, right?
-- A hideously depressed and cripplingly anxious individual wouldn't be able to plan a BEAUTIFUL SUMMER WEDDING. Would they?
-- No, seriously. I'm asking.
no subject
Date: 2020-05-30 09:57 pm (UTC)Of course you are right!
I think there's only one flogging in Sweeney Todd…. just saying. If you haven't listened to the PERFECT London production from the National Theatre, you should. That YouTube link: act of genius, indeed. More I Cannot Wish You.
Oh, lord, now I want to see a political wife snap and start biting people. Can this please happen? Please? Somewhere? (But wait! Perhaps his family all have particular preferences in salt provenance, and he is, like a truly gracious host, providing them all with, like, Himalayan salt, Mediterranean sea salt, Russian pink… no, probably not. Just ludicrously show-offy. Mind you, if you want ludicrously show-offy, you must visit my country - one day - and spend many hours in the Victoria and Albert Museum, which is basically full of Stuff We Stole. The silver dinner services are astonishing.)
As for the trust fund idiots and their ilk, ah, If only stupidity were a high risk factor. I for one would take considerable comfort in knowing that people stupid enough to ignore common sense precautions would be killed off as a result. I am, in truth, becoming hardened and callous in my melancholy, chorus-free life. I don't usually wish for deaths, well, not before June 2016, anyway. Nowadays I make Thanos lists.
I see your cupcake tower and think, eh, too much buttercream. I saw a doughnut tower at a recent wedding, shown briefly at the end of one of the thousands of wedding dress shows from which I cannot tear myself away. A doughnut tower!
I am slightly consoled for the loss of my mega birthday party (next weekend) by (a) the fact that I have not had to plan it or cook for it, and (b) the likelihood of rain next weekend. Though the latter will probably stymie my tentative plans for a picnic in the back garden with my children and brother-in-law, if they will come. They are allowed to, but the kids have been taking even more stringent precautions than we have, so who knows.
Sigh.
So. Wedding colours? How many bridesmaids? And will you write your own vows?
no subject
Date: 2020-06-11 11:24 pm (UTC)Omg, you're right! There IS a flogging in Sweeney Todd! (The world of musical theatre: so weird. So amazing.)
I just Youtubed the prologue from the National Theatre production and: 1. The lungs on those people! I am instantly enthralled. And 2. Someone in the comments called Helena Bonham Carter "inert" and I'm cackling in agreement.
I feel like you're being awfully generous to the Cuomos re: their possible salt preferences, when it's probably just another case of RICH PEOPLE: HUH? (Although, if you're right, and each one of them does require a different, highly specific type of salt with each meal, then that is unforgivably pretentious and they deserve the guillotine. I shall construct one myself. In the basement I don't have.) (I wanna see the stolen dinner services! God, I miss museums.)
Make your Thanos lists, girl. Use up entire notebooks. (Who knew chorus was the thing that was keeping you soft and un-murdery? :)
Okay. A doughnut tower MIGHT be cooler than a cupcake tower. (But I still want my hoopskirt!)
I don't know if I'll write my own vows, but someone WILL sing an operatic rendition of Cyndi Lauper's Time After Time and there will be crying. Copious, performative crying. (Also, I guess I should introduce myself to my bride-and-or-groom at some point. I mean. Right?)