these little town blues
Oct. 9th, 2017 06:40 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
brandywine28Honestly, this is terrible and I'm not proud of it in any way and I really do believe we should gouge out the eyes of all the Columbus statues we can find and hurl the torsos into the sea, but...
I don't actually hate Columbus Day?
I know. I KNOW. I blame my love of aggressive nonsense, not my love of genocidal scumpiles, which, I assure you, does not exist. 'Cos I don't know what today's like across the rest of the country, but here, the man barely gets a mention and instead, it's just wall-to-wall batshit Italian pride for a solid 24 hours. Joe Piscopo standing in the middle of the street, screaming Sinatra lyrics into a megaphone! People flinging fistfuls of grated parmesan from their car windows like it's confetti*! All of it loudly sponsored by off-brand pasta sauce and someone's angry nonna.
I'm only admitting this because I feel so loved and cherished here. Hell, I'm not Italian. None of this is even for me.
But -- parmesan!
My proposal: don't eradicate the whole day. Just rename it "Yearly Batshit Italian Pride Festival!!11!" or something and then, yeah, do the statue thing. Seriously. Let's do it. I love to gouge.
*Okay, this one is maybe a tiny exaggeration.**
**Maybe.
I don't actually hate Columbus Day?
I know. I KNOW. I blame my love of aggressive nonsense, not my love of genocidal scumpiles, which, I assure you, does not exist. 'Cos I don't know what today's like across the rest of the country, but here, the man barely gets a mention and instead, it's just wall-to-wall batshit Italian pride for a solid 24 hours. Joe Piscopo standing in the middle of the street, screaming Sinatra lyrics into a megaphone! People flinging fistfuls of grated parmesan from their car windows like it's confetti*! All of it loudly sponsored by off-brand pasta sauce and someone's angry nonna.
I'm only admitting this because I feel so loved and cherished here. Hell, I'm not Italian. None of this is even for me.
But -- parmesan!
My proposal: don't eradicate the whole day. Just rename it "Yearly Batshit Italian Pride Festival!!11!" or something and then, yeah, do the statue thing. Seriously. Let's do it. I love to gouge.
*Okay, this one is maybe a tiny exaggeration.**
**Maybe.