The C Train: Halloween Edition

[brandywine28]

Scene: third car of the C train, 8 pm-ish, October 31st. A twenty-something guy shuffles aboard, wearing a full-body penis costume (the testicles are somewhere around his shins). He calmly sits down and starts texting.


The elderly lady to my left who reminds me a little of Lovey Howell: (in a loud, unsubtle whisper) Is...is he supposed to be an autumn squash?

Her be-cardiganed husband: ....

Me: (crams entire fist in my mouth to muffle the rib-cracking laughter)

Mr. Howell: Uh...no, dear.


*note -- I almost never take the C, so I can't really say whether or not roaming dudebro penii are an everyday occurrence on that line. Oh lordy do I hope it was a Halloween thing.

Comments

[solariana.livejournal.com]

Oh, the world is full of interesting people. I'm sure they're around to keep the rest of us somewhat amused! LOL

[brandywine28.livejournal.com]

That's such a lovely way to look at the world! I almost feel guilty for all the snark. ALMOST.

[pirateonthebay.livejournal.com]

This post has made sleepfailing worth it.

I did have to look up "dudebro," though, since apparently I haven't encountered enough of them to know what they are.

[brandywine28.livejournal.com]

Omg, the best part? His legs were pretty much fused together like a mermaid's, so that shuffle was really more of a shimmy. IT WAS AMAZING.

[pirateonthebay.livejournal.com]

Too bad no one got it on video to upload to YouTube. Instant virality!

[sperrywink]

Ahahaha! That is too funny.

[brandywine28.livejournal.com]

I will never look at a butternut squash the same way again. :)

[pensnest]

roaming dudebro penii

*giggles FOR EVER*

I am now imagining you as Lizzie Bennett in this.

I do hope that it was a Halloween thing. Although there's something to be said for honesty in one's self-representation.

[brandywine28.livejournal.com]

YES. We've ALL been that particular Lizzie: sitting perfectly still and trying not to choke on your own saliva while a man says and/or does something disgusting -- it's UNIVERSAL!

honesty in one's self-representation

*dies* He was embodying his true essence! It was a total power move!

[mickeym.livejournal.com]

You have the most interesting encounters, don't you? And now I have "roaming dudebro penii" stuck in my head, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

Here, have a penis *g*

[brandywine28.livejournal.com]

Aw, you give the best gifts! :)

Frankly, it's nice to see one without a facehole cut into the shaft. (Can you say NIGHTMARE FUEL? *shudders*)

[zebraljb.livejournal.com]

You know, the last time you mentioned something on the subway, it was an idea regarding JC as Ariel, and you know what happened next.

I'm shocked you haven't asked someone to write a story where JC wants to be a penis for Halloween, and Lance screams in horror, Joey laughs, Justin asks how anatomically detailed it will be, and Chris gently attempts to talk his beloved out of it.

[brandywine28.livejournal.com]

Nope. Nuh-uh. The Human Penis does NOT deserve to be immortalized via a lovingly rendered 100k slash epic. Sorry.

Also - how dare you! JC would NEVER! He's a freak, sure, but it's a gentle, introspective type of freakiness! Now Lance on the other hand...