robots don't say 'ye'

I just learned that the show Teen Wolf actually has female characters. Like, a lot of them. Mind = blown. Even more shockingly, it turns out that the protagonist is neither The Brooding One nor The Endearingly Gawky One (because if I don't use their names I can still pretend I'm Above It All! It's a distancing technique! HUMOR ME. I beg you); instead, it's some standard issue, letterman jacket clad Everyboy-type who I had never set eyes on until about an hour ago, and I can tell just by looking at this kid that he's positively bursting with standard teen angst and standard hetero yearnings and YAWN. Totally not what I was expecting. Stupid, misleading fan porn.

None of these things are dealbreakers, mind you. I'm sure I'll still cave and jump on the bandwagon. Um, eventually. I just resent being lied to by my dearest and most trusted compadre, the internet. Where's the bastion of sweaty, slashy boy touching I was promised? Why, internet? Why?!

In other TV-related goings-on, I've been watching reruns of - shudder - Seventh Heaven. Possibly because I hate myself. The rage, good God. Good God, the rage. I HAD FORGOTTEN. If this model of righteous, late '90s craptacularity has taught me anything, it's that I'm far too delicate for Hate Watching; all this angry fist-clenching cannot be good for my bones. At this point I think I'm just sticking it out 'til they cycle back around to the episode where Lance guest stars as Blandy McProtestant, just one in a wide pool of assembly line Richie Cunninghams clamoring to get their lily white hands on the Reverend's lipless, gremlin-faced middle daughter. Featuring a makeout scene so awkward the most hardened of fangirls must avert her eyes! 'Cos I think we all know that once I get that sucker on my DVR? I won't be parting with it for a good long while. No siree.

Morbo is pleased but sticky

*obnoxious throat clearing sounds* I feel like I wouldn't be doing my job as an LJer - nay, as a human being - if I didn't draw attention to the following:

Oscar Wilde and Walt Whitman almost certainly did it (and that's wonderful)

Yes! GREAT BIG BUCKETS of yes!

Walt Freakin' Whitman, master of the swoonworthy pick-up line! Who knew? ("'Thee and Thou' terms": guh. Such a rogue.) Now that would've spiced up the dry-as-dust tour of his birth place I took a couple of years ago. :)

And as long as I'm in a coding kinda mood, here's A Brief History of Slash, which manages to be that rare thing: a mainstream article about fandom that doesn't make me cringe.