brandywine28: (squid)
An unexpectedly big day for mermaid news!

Okay, first of all, apparently they're remaking Splash and Channing Tatum's gonna be the merlady/merman/merperson, which -- holy crap. I've chosen my flist wisely, so I know -- I know -- I don't have to explain why this is a very, very good thing.

Please, Jebus, please, let him wear a seashell bra!

And then, OMG, on the literary front: I have just learned that Anne Rice is about to publish a book that will send Lestat to the friggin' lost city of Atlantis, where, I can only presume, he will wow the local populace by using an ancient sea turtle as a percussive instrument while singing a jazzy tune. No joke, this just may be the best thing that has ever happened to me.

Prince Lestat and the Realms of Atlantis, people. It's happening. And if there's a midnight release party at B&N, I will be going. Probably in a full body flounder costume. Mark my words.
brandywine28: (squid)
So. Today on the F Train, a very nice older lady put her hand on my knee and asked, concern in her voice, what was wrong, which, I didn't think anything was?? I mean, all I'd been doing was sitting there, y'know, zoning out on the Zizmor ads and thinking about all the AUs I'll never write: the usual. And then she squeezed my knee and told me not to worry, she'd say a rosary for me, so I guess...

I guess...

The moral of this story is that my RBF is really more of an RTF (Resting Traumatized Face)? Which, uh. Okay.

So now that I know about it...how do I fix it? (And please don't tell me to imagine something soothing, like dolphins and sea lions cavorting in a calm, blue ocean because 1. dolphins wig me out. They're too smart. You just know they're plotting something.* And 2. I'd say I already think about sea lions about...hmm...5-7 hours per day, at least. Any more would be ridiculous.)



*What?! They ARE.
brandywine28: (squid)
Just popping my head up out of Box City like a boyband-loving gopher to briefly draw attention to the fact that AJ was in Vegas last weekend and the thing happened! That's right, like Lance Bass before him, he went to see Britney's show, got pulled up on stage, harnessed, and was forced to do the thing! The thing!!

Also, if Aaron Carter's twitter can be believed, he officially endorsed Donald Trump, renounced him (I think?? I'm not too clear, to be honest), and watched The Revenant, all in a span of about six hours this past Saturday -- but, oh God, please don't make me go back through his timeline to find the relevant links. I don't think I can do it. I'm not strong enough. All I'm fit for right now is sitting here and fantasizing about The Thing.
brandywine28: (squid)
So...a woman approached me in the tampon aisle at CVS this morning. (That sounds like the set-up for some terrible joke, but...no.) She worked for NPR, she said, and she was looking for people to talk about their biggest fears while her creepily looming cameraman shoved his lens in their faces. I told her my biggest fear was being filmed tired and makeup-less, clutching an extra large box of unscented Kotex.

I mean, I do feel a little bad for exaggerating; that's not really my biggest fear. It's definitely in the top ten, though.
brandywine28: (hunx)
Yesterday I told Lara that it feels like my shriveled, desiccated heart might actually be starting to believe again, and you know what? I think it's true. It's not exactly a "rainbows exploding out of my eyes" sort of mindset, but. It's something. It feels...odd. A little itchy in places. But kinda great, too.

So it seems my will-they-or-won't-they reunion-based anxiety is manifesting itself in all sorts of fun and quirky ways. Last night I dreamed that Lance was a serial murderer who the papers had dubbed "The Leprechaun Killer", because he was in the habit of leaving a bejeweled shamrock (?????) at the scene of every crime. I was the grizzled, Eastwood-esque veteran cop charged with hunting him down. I was a loose cannon with a chip on my shoulder and nothing to lose! (Because, y'know, obviously.) Just before I woke up he and I were sharing a banana split at one of those old-timey faux-1950s malt shoppes and he was telling me how much he was looking forward to prison.

Frankly, I'm a little impressed that my unconscious mind invented something so coherent. That's the real news here, I think.
brandywine28: (Default)
There's nothing quite like stepping off the F train at the end of a long, hard day, getting waylaid by the glut of news vans and overly perky anchorpeople that have completely taken over the block next to yours and then finding out that this happened:

NYPD Officer Charged in Conspiracy to Kidnap, Torture, Rape and Cannibalize 100 Women

I. I just. It's not enough that we're a stone's throw away from a Romney presidency--now I have to worry about the guy next door trying to eat me?!?!

Honestly, I don't know which is worse.
brandywine28: (Default)
The newest addition to the ever-growing list of AO3 tags that seem to straddle the border between superfluous and just plain meshugenah:

-"Non-rape"

O_O

I just--huh? Am I missing something? Totally baffling, right? I'm gonna go ahead and assume that it's meant to signify something OTHER THAN consensual sex--cause otherwise why wouldn't the author just, y'know, call it THAT? (Also, who warns for consensual sex?)

But as to its true meaning? I'm stymied. STYMIED.

Ugh

Jul. 16th, 2012 06:29 pm
brandywine28: (Default)
It's only Monday and I am already weary of the human race. (I'm usually able to stave off those kinds of feeling til around Wednesday or Thursday. Sometimes Friday, if I've eaten a lot of sugar that week.)

So when I got home this afternoon the lobby of my apartment building was swarming with cops. Turns out someone broke past security last night and spraypainted swastikas all over the laundry room and inside the elevator. Nice, right? The building manager assured me that they'll be installing new cameras and floodlights and whatever--as they should, I guess. It's a fine solution, perfectly reasonable, it just doesn't really strike at the heart of the matter for me, which is--WHAT THE HELL? It's 2012--can't people just get with the program already?! Why all the ugliness? GAH.

I just--I can't.

To give you all some idea of where I am emotionally these days, I almost punched a 250 year old woman at the farmer's market yesterday. She was yammering on and on about how they shouldn't accept EBT cards as payment because "this isn't THAT kind of neighborhood", and what can I say? That sort of garbage has always been a sore spot with me. (Yeah, my town IS considered one of the schmancier parts of Queens, but let's face it--it's still QUEENS. Believe me, I have no illusions about my chosen borough.) It was one of those moments where you're hoping a couple of huge, burly guys will materialize out of nowhere and hold you back, and then you look around, see that THAT isn't going to happen, and realize you're gonna have to *gulp* behave LIKE AN ADULT. So no, I did NOT attack a woman who was clearly a holdover from the Van Buren administration; instead I just muttered something bitchily passive aggressive about elitism, which probably came out pretty garbled since my face was contorted with icy cold rage.

I think there's a chance I may have an anger problem.

But on the upside:

-my fire escape tomatoes are doing amazingly well! Sugar Lumps, Lemon Drops and Cherokee Purples...I admit I only chose those varieties because I thought their names were cute. I'm terribly shallow. (I think I'll use the Lemon Drops to make a giant vat of yellow tomato sauce, something I've been fantasizing about doing for a couple of years now. Shallow AND dorky, that's me!)

-my fluffiest cat has recently started crawling into my lap whenever he gets tired. It only took him FIVE YEARS, the little jerk. O_O

-I've got a new chapter of [livejournal.com profile] zebraljb's latest awaiting me! The promise of AJ and Lance snarking at each other whilst shirtless is, well, promising. :) Very.

-fic rec: This Colder Air by annakovsky and kyra (The Office, gen). The LAST thing I expected to get all wrapped up in was a (mostly) pairing-less, post-apocalyptic AU of a TV show I lost interest in three years ago, but I'll be damned if this isn't brilliant; it's survivalist porn at its finest. (Apparently there's an even longer prequel, but it's Ryan/Jim and I'd be lying my ass off if I said I was capable of wrapping my mind around THAT particular pairing. Still, I figure I'll give it a go; after all, people DO act irrationally during apocalypses...right?)
brandywine28: (Default)
Jesus Dress Up!

Question: how happy am I that this exists?

Answer: VERY
brandywine28: (Default)
I really, really hate Rick Santorum.

Why aren't more people talking about this? I can't say I'm surprised that the jackwagons at Fox News haven't reported it, but as far as I can tell none of the other, non-right wing news outlets have said a word either, which. I just. WHY?

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